The recurring thought that has been going on in my mind this past month is how grateful I am to so many friends who helped us move. There were so many good friends in Alabama who helped us pack, load the truck and send us on our way. I miss you all dearly. So many people sacrificed their time to help us, and we had no way to repay them, because we’re no longer there.

And then when we arrived in Colorado, everyone here has been so helpful as well. We arrived to a newly renovated home, and many people helped us unload the truck (in less than 2 hours!).

Basically, we feel like everyone has given so generously to us during this time, and we have had no way of paying it back. It’s a very humbling experience. I just wanted to say thank you to so many friends and family members who have gone totally out of their way to help us. It has not gone unappreciated. Those of you in Alabama, we miss you and really hope that you are already making plans to come visit. Seriously!

Sarah Joy hasn’t arrived yet. We are expecting her any day now. When the big day happens, you’ll see pics here!

Speaking of pics, I am uploading some more pics from Colorado on my blog. They will be listed under the “Family Photos” link on the top menu of this blog.

Lastly, I wanted to let everyone know that I am experimenting with my sermon preparation as a new pastor. I have decided (at least for the time being) to write an original song that goes with the sermon I’m preaching. I’m doing this to help me focus my sermons and allow God to speak to me as I prepare them. I’m not using them in the worship service–they are meant to be useful for my sermon prep time. I’ve already written two. I will be posting these in posts to come.

Sorry for not being around for so long. Thanks for returning. I will be posting once again on a regular schedule like I did before moving, so keep checking back!

I think part of the reason is that I hadn’t heard it expounded on for such a long time. The things that I’ve written in my blog on the Gospel–those things haven’t been taught to me for quite some time. Perhaps some of you read my blog, and think–”Well, duh. You’re not saying anything new here, Tim. We all know this about the Gospel and have moved on from this a long time ago. This is milk, not meat” Well for me, it’s new all over again. New in a way that it’s never been like before. This is the closest I’ve ever been to what it must feel like for someone who has lived all their lives as a non-believer, and then 30 years later, they come to faith in Christ for the first time, and what a dramatic change it brings–eyes opened, joy floods, a new mind in Christ, etc. Those aren’t just words or phrases to me right now. Sure, I’ve heard songs that sing about it, and I’ve even expounded on it myself in lessons to the youth when I was the youth pastor–but I’ve recently realized in a new way that everyone needs to have the Gospel preached to them–even ministers like me. I am convinced there is something that happens on a spiritual level (something I can’t quite explain right now) when one chooses to submit oneself to the preaching of the Gospel. But you can’t do that unless it is preached to you and you come literally face-to-face with it. It’s one thing to preach the Gospel to someone else, it’s another thing to have it preached to you and for you to soak it in. This is one of my greatest fears of becoming a pastor–I can’t let myself preach the Gospel week after week, without it being preached to me week after week. I am currently praying that some way this will happen (perhaps via podcasts or connecting with a local pastor there). I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s like going without water for a long time, and then having a drink of it and wanting more and more and more and more. It’s like you realize how life-giving the water is, and how nothing else even comes close in comparison to filling that void. Not merely religion, not merely trying to live more like Jesus; nothing else comes close to understanding the mystery and power of the Gospel and all its implications. It truly does change everything.

When I tried to explain this to a friend about a month ago, I felt like I couldn’t explain it fully. It was like this explanation for why I keep fixating on the Gospel just wasn’t enough to explain the phenomenon. I’ve since realized that, although this is one strong reason for why I find myself in such a predicament, there’s something equally–if not greater–that has caused me to keep clinging to the Gospel. Something else that makes it so valuable and life-giving.

In David Platt’s book, Radical, that I’ve referred to in earlier posts, Platt recounts a time in his life in college regarding the Gospel, and I hope I get the general gist of it correct here on this blog. (I’m too lazy to go downstairs and find the part in the book again, so I’m recounting from memory. Hopefully, none of this is made-up.) He says something to the effect that for one of his assignments or something, he got in front of the entire class and shared the Gospel of Christ to everyone, and how there is no other way to heaven, except putting your faith in Christ, because only He can give us His righteousness. After sharing, one girl in his class came up to him and replied something to the effect of, “Are you telling me that you think I’m going to hell for eternity if I don’t believe in your religion? You are so narrow-minded and judgmental!” Platt then writes that as a result of this encounter, he went home and kept thinking to himself, “Do I really believe this? Is this really true? Cuz if not, I’ve just made a fool of myself!” This encounter forced him to decide on a deeper level if he really affirmed what he always believed. That wasn’t the end of the story. The next year, the same girl found David and told him how she had recently come to place her faith in Jesus and experienced for herself what he had shared with his class the year before. Now that she was a believer, her eyes were opened, and she saw the awesome truths that David was preaching that day. Her life was changed by the Gospel she had once derided.

When the Gospel costs you something, something powerful happens. When you have to let go of things in this life, you start to grab tighter on the Gospel, believing that it must be true even more. As Paul says, If it’s not true, Christians who believe in the Gospel are to be pitied the most of all men. I can relate with David Platt’s story. In my case, instead of my classmate responding in this way toward the Gospel, it was my pastor saying I was narrow-minded and judgmental for believing that everyone must put their faith in Christ, or else they remain eternally lost in their sins. I remember thinking, “If what I believe is not true, I’m an idiot. I’m walking away from a youth ministry that I love to death, I’m losing close friendships, I’m losing 33% of an already month-to-month income, I’m losing my church family, and I must be narrow-minded and judgmental like I’ve been accused of.”

By letting go of all these things, it’s like I felt like I was getting dangerously close to a situation where all I had left was the Gospel. Is the Gospel really true? Is it worth losing all these other things to? Is the Gospel really worth foreclosing my house and becoming dependent on family until something new comes along? Jesus, do you really mean this much to me? Am I crazy? So it forced me to start trusting and putting my faith in the Gospel like never before. Every time I heard it, it was REAL to me. I wanted more. I knew in a deeper way that Jesus really is all you need. And that there really is no way to the Father but through Him. There couldn’t be any other way. The Bible really is true. The world’s religions do not point to Christ, and the world is being deceived by them. And the world needs to know this. They ARE like that girl in David’s class–blinded to the truth and lost because of their sins. This ISN’T just something I’ve made up in my head. It doesn’t matter what other people think or say about me. After all, they aren’t really accusing ME of being judgmental and narrow-minded, they are accusing Scripture and the Gospel of being so. And here’s why I keep fixating on the Gospel: Inside of me, I just can’t reconcile how some people can feel that way about Scripture and the Gospel, while I find the same truths to be the most wonderful, miraculous gift and treasure ever given to us, so praise and thanks be to God!!!! How can anyone sing a song in church about what Christ has done or how we are made right with the Father through His work without something inside bubbling up with joy and appreciation and deepest humility? “I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but WHOLLY lean on Jesus’ name! On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.”

These are not just words to sing to fill in some time on a Sunday morning worship service. No, they are the truth, and beyond being true…they are incredibly and thankfully true. If you find that you wish that you had more faith in God or His Gospel, I encourage you: willingly let go of things in this life out of trust in the Gospel. Tell someone at your work or your school about how Christ saves us and how He has saved you. Put yourself in a place where you have to trust that the Bible is indeed true. Something will happen. You’re life may go downhill as a result. Maybe you’ll lose your job or you’ll lose friends at school. Or maybe not. I had hoped that God would honor my step of faith and provide me even more income than I had while at the church. That didn’t happen. It got worse, not better. I truly lost things in this life, but I gained something far greater: I gained a deeper faith in God. I take that with me as I pastor my first church. If anyone thought I was idealistic before, I’m even more so today. I believe we can simply trust in God’s power to save people instead of all of the trappings that modern churches feel they must have. I clearly see the power of the Gospel!!!  I don’t care that the church I’m going to doesn’t have a staff, nor the “stuff” to hire a “staff.” In what ways does that even come close to comparing to the power of the Gospel?? It many people’s eyes, this church has very little. I don’t see it that way. Do you want to know what I see? I see David with 5 stones and a sling and the Lord on his side. I’d rather have that than a large army and a giant who could easily wipe David off with his little pinky. I’d rather have less money, less friends, less of this world and more of Christ. As the Matt Redman song says, “Take the world, but give me Jesus.”

I hope one day I trust Jesus and His Gospel enough to give it all away. Right now, however, I have a choice–do I continue to trust God even more, or do I revert back to trusting in other things. It’s a daily question. I’m afraid many days, I revert back. In fact, I’m still scared to talk to people about my faith at work or at the grocery store or in my neighborhood. I’m still a faithless sinner who has been saved by God’s grace alone. But writing in my blog has been extremely helpful to bring me back around. So has the sermons I’ve heard and the discussions I’ve had with friends. This stuff must not go away, even though I am going away. As the writer of Hebrews says, “Let us not forsake the gathering of ourselves together, but let us encourage one another even more as the day approaches.” I need to be encouraged to continue stepping out in faith for God! I’m too prone to keep comfortable and safe. I continue to want this life to be about me, instead of about God. But one day, we will all realize that this life really should have been all about Him all along.

I believe the writer of Hebrews is right, and that day is approaching. And I don’t want to become like some who lose more of their faith in Scripture or the Gospel as time has gone on…I want to be like those whose faith is such that the Gospel is more true and more powerful to them than ever before. Where are these people in Colorado? I want their faith to be an example for me. And I want to be that example for others as well.

Here’s what I’m afraid that statistic really means: three out of four new church start-ups end up folding because they cannot financially sustain what they think it takes to grow a church. That’s right–it’s all about not having enough money. It’s too bad God doesn’t have enough money to fund His mission. The church had to be marketed and advertised, the pastor had to be paid, a building had to be rented or purchased, utilities had to be paid, and and support staff had to be supported financially as well (i.e. worship leader, youth pastor, etc). So if the church is unable to get enough people to start attending and give so that these financial issues are covered, God won’t be able to establish this church, and everyone moves on. Poor God. It seems that three out of four times, He can’t seem to come up with enough money.

Why do we do that? Do we not believe Jesus’ words that when there are just two or three gathered in His name, He is there? Do you realize the power this represents? Don’t we believe that Jesus and His power is WAY more than enough? Or is that not enough in our eyes? How much do we really trust in Christ to come through and see His ministry go forth? It is amazing to me that Jesus says that He is there with just two or three people who are gathered in His name. It blows me away. Is He really telling the truth? If so, that’s totally amazing. If He’s really there, who cares if we have enough money to pay everyone and everything that WE feel it takes to start a church. Could it be that we don’t really need the things we think we do? Isn’t this the same Jesus who multiplied fish and bread to feed thousands? Wouldn’t you rather have that resource than simply having more than enough money to resource what YOU and other “experts” think you need in a staff and facility to have a “thriving” church? Don’t we trust in the power of Christ more than we trust in church growth experts? Don’t we want to define a “thriving” church by the activity of God in the church vs. how many resources the church has at its disposal?

Thankfully, I hear many pastors these days rejecting the notion of a prosperity gospel. Yet doesn’t this sound eerily similar?

No wonder so many church starts close up shop. And no wonder churches are springing up left and right in other parts of the world that don’t feel the need to have so much overhead and expenses (and where there are no church growth experts). They are willing to start up churches at the expense of not having salaries, buildings, or money, because they are convinced that the Gospel must be spread regardless, and that Jesus (who called them) will see His Gospel spread through them in spite of not having that other stuff. Does this mean that it’s wrong to have that other stuff? No, after all, I’ve been a paid youth pastor, and I am thankful to have had that opportunity. I’m just saying that you don’t need a paid youth pastor, even if everyone else is telling you that you do.

We forget that the supernatural power of Christ’s resurrection was revealed after He died. We forget that God created the universe when there was nothing at all. We forget that God supernaturally heals where there is first a need of healing. We forget that before the waters of the Red Sea were parted, the Israelites were trapped. We fear going without resources, so we just give up. We think all is lost, when God typically gets ready to show just how powerful He is. And I’m willing to bet it looks a lot different from more butts, buildings, and bucks in our ministries. I am convinced that if we put aside our convictions that in order to start up a church, you have to have such-and-such, our statistics in new church start-ups would swing the other way. I refuse to believe that 3 out of 4 church start-ups can’t get 2-3 people to gather in Jesus’ name. Are there any pastors of modern churches who still believe in Jesus? If we believe His promises, 2 or 3 gathered in His name is plenty to start a new ministry–cuz that’s ALL it takes for Him to be there! NOTHING MORE!

In the end, to establish a church, our problem isn’t that we need more people or more resources; our problem is that we are neglecting to realize our need for Him. We are depending on other things to fall in line, instead of depending on Him. Pastors, this I believe: if in your ministry you’ve got 2 or 3 people including yourself who are together being supernaturally changed by the power of the Gospel (which means you need only one other person), watch out! The gates of hell can’t stop you.

The funny thing is, this has always been God’s way of showing that He loves us. Because there is impending doom on the horizon, God clearly spells it out to warn us and encourage us to repent. It is all throughout the Old Testament in the history of Israel. It’s Peter’s first message on the day of Pentecost, the birth of the Church, when the Holy Spirit first came down. Look at the city of Ninevah. Wasn’t this God’s message to its inhabitants as well? That they were going to be destroyed by God! (Which is why God is accused of not being loving.) But what happened? They repented, and God’s deeper will (that all come to repentance) was fulfilled. You see, God really DOES love us, even though we are in serious trouble with Him if we don’t repent. This is why Jonah had run away to begin with–he knew the heart of God–that God would show mercy on repentant sinners.

Remember: Jesus is coming back. The first time He came, the message was to repent and follow CHRIST (John the Baptist). It’s no different this time either. And remember this as well: It was the religious teachers who refused to be baptized by John. It was they who refused to believe that John’s message came from God. They also felt that it wasn’t necessary for them or their followers to follow Christ, subsequently. That’s because they thought God was pleased with their efforts at being good people as they followed their religion. These same people today are telling us that people who follow the world’s religions are ok with God because they are trying their best–”so stop judging them!” These religious “leaders “are fools. Why? Not only are they leading themselves away from God, but they are blindly leading many other blind people who look up to them into the same pit. These people take God’s message of repentance and surrender to Christ as a message of intolerance and hatred, instead of seeing it for what it really is: a message of how GREATLY God loves us.

Jesus said it clearly: A doctor comes for those who are sick, not the healthy. So are we in desperate need of the Doctor’s services, or will we somehow pull through in the end even if we don’t receive His treatment? Come on now!! Did Christ have to come to save us, or not?? Christ comes only for those who recognize their need for Him and Him alone. Today, we have religious teachers telling people that they don’t need to come to Jesus for life-saving treatment–the world isn’t going to hell, they would say. God would never do something like that. There are various treatments to be found from many other facilities! (Although many “Christian” leaders would say that Jesus is the “best” doctor out there to perform the surgery.) That’s not at all what Jesus said about himself, and it totally changes the message of Scripture. These “leaders” are just as blind as Nicodemus. They do not realize that the fact that we are without hope outside of salvation through Jesus is exactly the message God gives us, precisely because He loves us.

So, if you wonder how you can know that God loves you, it’s that He warns you that you are in trouble with Him, and that this ends in your destruction. That is, unless you repent and receive Christ. This is God’s kindness being shown to you, and it’s His kindness that leads to repentance. If God was unkind, He would keep this message of impending doom far from you–but He hasn’t. He loves you.

In today’s society, this is seen as horribly intolerant. In a way, this is true. It is true that God is intolerant toward sin. God doesn’t tolerate everything, as our society tries to tolerate everything. But even though God doesn’t tolerate everything, He loved us enough to allow His Son to redeem all who are willing to repent. The question is: are you willing to repent?

In order to repent, you have to first understand that you need repentance. That you are indeed in trouble with God as things stand. That you are in trouble with God doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love you. Only fools (religious leaders or not) say nonsense like that. I say they are fools, because it’s a very dangerous and foolish thing to twist God’s words. As I’ve stated before here, the fact that He reveals your damning condition clearly shows that He loves you. If He didn’t love you, He’d let you blindly continue on your way to a hopeless death. If you are willing to bow before God and recognize your helpless condition, and turn to Him for desperately-needed rebirth, He will make you alive to Him once again.

You can’t be reborn unless you’re already dead. Yet most refuse to believe they are dead–they see themselves and everyone else as “good people” who are not dead to God. Can you see that you’re dead? Has God shown you that you are helplessly lost? Can you see it, or will you continue in denial? You know, everyone who is evil is in denial of their condition for quite some time–some for their entire lives. As long as you stay in this state, you will remain lost. Until the truth is spoken, and you REALLY hear it, you will remain in denial. The question is, when the truth is spoken, are you big enough as a person to realize how little of a person you really are? Can you admit before God that you are a worm like everyone else (including myself)?

The Bible says that those who repent and receive the Holy Spirit (Jesus’ gift of His righteousness to us) have become united with Christ. And the Bible uses the imagery of a bride/groom relationship between us and Christ. Here’s why that’s so amazing: Because Jesus isn’t headed for hell. He already went there and had no chance of being held in the grave. He was triumphant over hell, because He alone had no sin. The rest of humanity, however, cannot say this about ourselves.

But if we’ve become united with Christ, we are to be married to Christ. And by becoming one with Christ in a spiritual “marriage,” our identity is now with Christ, and He isn’t headed for hell! Today, many “Christians” are teaching that you don’t need to be united with Christ to go to heaven. They say that a loving God wouldn’t destroy sinful people. They say that God loves everyone, so quit saying that people are headed for destruction! (They would say the same thing to Jonah, Peter, and John the Baptist.)

So if anyone tells you that you don’t need to come to faith in Christ to go to heaven–they are blindly ignorant of Scripture, and they are just telling you what you want to hear. That’s not how a God of love would treat you if you were in danger. A God of love would tell you the honest truth, because He loves you that much. He’ll shoot straight with you. Those other people, they don’t love you, although they may think that they do. They are just telling you what they think will make you feel good. They just want to draw a crowd. As a result, they are not speaking for God. They are following in the steps of the false prophets in Old Testament times. The ones that said, “God is ok with who you are and what you do. Look around; He is blessing you with all of this peace and prosperity!” The true prophets were laughed at and ridiculed and accused of making God look to be a vicious tyrant. Yet it was out of love for God’s people, that the prophets spoke such harsh things. And ironically, it was those people who preached “tolerance” who hated the prophets and their message, and spoke evil of them. They tolerated everything except God’s truth. You see, our society today is really no different from previous societies. This has been going on for a long time, and it seems humanity never learns their lesson.

That is, except for those who hear the message and repent. That’s always been a minority (remnant) of people, and I suspect that will always be how it is, although I hope not. I hope that more and more people will realize how much God loves them, and that He has gone to great lengths to save them from their sins. How about you? Will you become identified with Christ, become one with Him? Are you willing to repent and follow Him?

Don’t listen to false “religious” teachers who try to make you feel good about yourself. You are not a good person–even Jesus himself said only God is good. We, who are evil, may know how to give good gifts to our children, but we are still evil. Wake up to your current condition and cry to God for salvation. Become like the citizens of Nineveh and be delivered from punishment. God really does love you. Enough to die for you (our last and only hope), and enough to continue to reveal to you the truth of your condition until you repent and come out of denial and death, into a wondrous reality and eternal life! You will become one of God’s children that He has redeemed from sin and hell, and there is no greater joy than to be reunited with God! God rules and He loves you!

But I also think it’s the truth.

Some people have a special talent, skill, or personality that draws them out of the crowd and into the spotlight. Perhaps they are recognized for their intelligence, a unique talent, or incredible physical attractiveness. I think deep down inside, all of us wish we could become that kind of person. Nobody wants to die a nobody.

Even in church circles, we have our celebrities. We elevate people who can speak well or have a musical gift. Or if they can write good books or grow a church. Or if they can somehow move us with their testimony. As I make this move to Colorado, I have to admit, part of me wonders if I’ll just fade into the background and become a “nobody” pastor in the middle of some distant small town, and I will live an insignificant life and drift into the shadows.

Yet I’m also thinking that you are blessed if everyone perceives you as a nobody. If nobody perceives you as a somebody.

That’s because the Bible teaches that only God is somebody, and we are nobodies. Jesus said, “I am the vine, you are the branches…apart from Me you can do nothing.”

It’s hard for people who are perceived as somebodies to believe Jesus’ words. If you gain recognition in the eyes of others, you start to believe what they believe about you. When I was younger, people in church often complimented me for my musical talents when it came to playing the piano. Pretty soon, I started to feel that it was unnecessarily defining me. I quickly got tired of people telling me how great I was, partly because I felt…Hey, there’s more to me than just a piano player! But more than that, it was always awkward to respond to their compliments. I appreciated their good intentions, but…well, it’s hard to explain. I soon backed off from playing the piano in public for various reasons, and even to this day, a part of me doesn’t like to do it that often.

But there’s also a part of me that likes that kind of stuff. Somehow, I want to stand out from the crowd. I want to be recognized and praised by other people. But I don’t like this part of me. I feel I am taking the stage away from God. Even when I try to deflect the praise to Him, it doesn’t work. People just compliment me on being so humble. Shouldn’t only He be praised? When one person came up to Jesus and started his question saying, “Good teacher…,” Jesus responded back: “Why do you call me good? Only God is good.”

I think that instead of trying to be a “somebody,” we should constantly be reminding ourselves that we are nobodies. We, like every other person in the world, have sinned against God and ruined His image in us. Like Isaiah says, we have all turned away like sheep, and gone our own way. And according to Scripture, even our righteousness is like dirty rags to God. Each of us is responsible for God having to come into the world and lay down His life to save us all, so we ought to feel like nobodies. A little humiliation isn’t such a bad thing.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.” I think part of what He was trying to say is that only those people who realize that they are nobodies will ever recognize their need for God and truly turn to Him for salvation.

Now let’s imagine that one day I become an extremely proficient piano player that gets world-wide recognition. Even if I became that good, how does this even begin to compare to the God who created the entire universe? Why should all these people be saying such wonderful things about me when they aren’t saying anything wonderful about Jesus–the all-powerful, awe-inspiring Lord of Creation who gave up His life to redeem the world?

Now before anyone starts bringing in psychology into the mix and tries to explain that it’s good for us to have a positive self-image, etc…I would like to point out: why should ANYONE feel good about themselves regardless of their talents, good looks, intelligence when each of us necessitated the crucifixion of our God and Savior? Shouldn’t we see ourselves from this perspective instead? After all, isn’t this the most important issue that every human will face–whether we will recognize our utter failure, sinfulness, and helpless condition, so that we might receive grace from God? Whatever earthly profit it would be to have a positive feeling about oneself…Didn’t Jesus say, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose His soul”?

Now I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing that you may be intelligent, or talented, or good-looking. After all, I do believe that God created us in his image, and that many of these gifts can innately reflect who God is. Yet, I’m also afraid that the very things that are supposed to reflect God often trap us into false opinions about ourselves–very much similarly to what happens to people who obtain wealth in this world.

Take a few minutes to consider how dark and sinful you really are–the part of you that no one else but God sees. Obviously, when people are praising us, they have no idea about that stuff. And that is some pretty horrid stuff, isn’t it. It’s humiliating, to say the least. It often consumes us. It has been destroying us. And it cost Jesus his very life. I reflect on of some of the great hymns of past generations. They have words like “for such a worm as I.” Or even contemporary songs like Third Day’s “I am a thief, I am a murderer.” Isn’t it better for us to see ourselves in the man being crucified next to Jesus–to realize that it is we who deserve nothing better than to die as a punishment for our sinful depravity–and to see no good in us whatsoever, apart from the goodness of Christ that God placed in us when we became born again? Isn’t it right for us to say that apart from Christ, we are guilty, that we are sinners, that we are thieves and murderers, that we are cursed, that we are slaves to sin, that we are wretched and naked and blind, that we are nobodies?

Forget anyone who tries to convince me I’m anything different.

A thought came to me the other day, and I’m not sure if someone has said this in the past in this way or not, but here it is: The only people who “deserve” to go to heaven are those who realize that they don’t deserve it in the least bit.

Whenever you announce something like this, everyone wants to hear the details. After all, you don’t do something crazy like leave your home and move your family over a thousand miles away from everyone unless something lucrative has turned up. Well, I’m sorry to say, there’s nothing lucrative to share. We are downsizing quite considerably, and we won’t be making any more money either. There are times when I think about what I’m about to do and my mind starts running…If this isn’t God, Tim, this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.

And I believe that is a true statement. For several reasons, however, I do strongly believe God is calling us to these two tiny communities in Colorado. Because of all of this, I kinda feel like an expendable pawn in God’s hand. He’s sovereignly choosing where to place us, and it’s not my place to resist. I trust that He knows what He’s doing, and I want to do my all for Him where He places me. If things don’t turn out for my “good,” that shouldn’t factor into the equation. This should be all about what is good for Christ and His kingdom! I am much closer to accepting this than I was six months ago!

The position is bi-vocational, and I hope to continue in the legal video business to supplement my income. If that doesn’t work out, I will have to find additional employment elsewhere. In addition, we will be moving a month before our baby is born, which presents several challenges.

But I believe this is God, and because of that, I choose to trust God that He will take care of all the questions and concerns we face.

I also have some fears about taking on this responsibility. At times, it feels daunting. Beyond the legitimate concerns I have, there are silly ones too, like: What if I have to immerse someone in baptism who weighs three times as much as me?  How do you do that without the power of God??

Of course, that’s the least of my concerns. What I fear the most is compromising myself as a leader. If you’ve read my blog, you know that I am frustrated with the lack of leadership in churches. Pastors seem more concerned with growing their church and becoming “successful” according to what our culture dictates. I recognize that in large part, I’ve largely been all talk on this subject, simply because no one has given me the opportunity to be in this position yet. But now I have the opportunity to step to the plate and take a full swing of blind faith.

My brother-in-law lent me the book, Radical, by David Platt this past weekend while we were at the beach. Even though I’m not quite finished with it yet, I would highly recommend it to everyone! Seriously. Throw away your My Best Life Now book, and click on that link! Then I will permit you to continue reading this blog post. Ok, now that you’ve read through the site and bought the book: I was surprised and excited to see many themes in this book that correlate very closely to many things I’ve written recently in my blog regarding the Gospel and the depressing state of the American Church and church leaders. I have no other explanation for this, except to continue to believe that the Holy Spirit is confirming to me that He is at work in my life–and in leaders in churches of all shapes and sizes.  I am grateful to have had the opportunity to hear the Gospel clearly preached and lived out the past six months at Brook Hills. While my awakening to the Gospel occurred before we started attending there, every Sunday we attended was confirmation for me that God is doing something supernatural in my life during this time. And it has been awesome to see a megachurch being led in a bold direction that takes the Gospel and Scripture seriously. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is awakening various church leaders to realize what this is really all about. Maybe a few of us (I hope more than I realize) are disillusioned with what we see in the modern church and church leadership, and rather than just talk about it, we want to do something material about it. This is my desire. But I greatly fear that I will get sucked into the mire in the process. I don’t want that to happen. I want every decision I make to be the leading of the Holy Spirit–not what I think would work best to grow our church, etc.

In the book, Radical, David Platt laments briefly over having been entrusted to your typical American megachurch, and wonders how God wants to take it from where it’s at currently to a more biblically-honoring congregation. I kinda feel like I have the privilege of starting something relatively from the ground up, to ensure these things don’t happen in my setting. Platt talks about how churches shouldn’t depend on earthly resources, talent, professionalism to do the ministry of God. Well, with this venture, I have the opportunity to prove this notion true. While others may not see that as a blessing, I do. The question is: am I strong enough in my faith in God to follow His leading and avoid the many traps that church leaders get sucked into? I see this as a test and a challenge. It greatly motivates me.

Here are some other things that get me excited about this new venture:

1. These two churches are the only evangelical churches in their respective communities. As a result, they must not fail—they cannot fail. There are no other churches around, unlike here in the South. They clearly have a mandate to reach their communities, or else their communities are guaranteed to remain lost. Period.
2. Less than 10% of the people in these communities attend church. That means there’s a true mission field there, unlike anything around here in the South where everyone claims membership somewhere. There’s something real to be done.
3. Most pastors would pass over this opportunity because it involves pastoring two small churches bi-vocationally. That just motivates me even more to step up to the plate.
4. For quite some time, I’ve submitted to people in leadership when they’ve told me that I was too idealistic, and that if I were the senior pastor of a church, I would quickly change my opinions on how we must aim high instead of settling for your average Sunday morning attender. Now it’s my turn. I can actually start to implement these things instead of being shot down or berated. I am eager to see what happens!
5. I refuse to base whether I’m successful or not by whether a church grows or decreases in attendance. I base it on whether we have followed Scripture and the Holy Spirit. As a result, I believe there’s no way I can fail! Even if the church closes it’s doors because of financial difficulty or whatever, I will refuse to believe that this means failure. It’s just time to start from scratch and begin meeting in people’s homes in the communities. We only fail if we give up trying to reach the community for Christ. This motivates me greatly.

I am also looking forward to being 45 minutes away from the Rocky Mountains! The area is very different from here–but also very beautiful! Even the plains we will be living in have their own charm and beauty. I will be posting pictures of our recent visit on my blog under the “Family Photos” link on the top menu. The people from the churches that we met a few weeks ago were so gracious and hospitable to us when we visited there. We were honored that both churches voted unanimously to welcome us as their new pastor! We have many reasons to be excited in the face of many fears.

I would appreciate everyone’s prayers during this time. From the logistics of moving everything in two weeks, to the great challenges we will face once in Colorado–there is plenty to pray about! Most of all, will you pray that I will be true to God? Will you pray for these two small churches–only 40 in combined attendance–that we would recognize that while we don’t have anything in earthly resources, we do have all kinds of heavenly resources at our disposal through Christ’s power in the Holy Spirit? Will you pray that the Gospel continues to miraculously change my life and begins to miraculously spread through these two churches and communities? I would greatly appreciate it!

So it baffled me every time I read in Galatians when Paul recounts how he was appealing to the leaders of the Church to recognize that the Gentiles could also become Christians without having to follow the Law (become circumcised, etc), and at the end how the leaders decide that indeed Paul is right. But according to Paul in Galatians, they give him this one instruction:

All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

Why does this keep coming up in Scripture and in Jesus’ words? Why does Jesus tell people to sell all their possessions and give to the poor? Why is this so important? Aren’t we saved by God’s grace, and not by good works, such as this?

I would like to throw out something that I’ve been thinking recently:

I have been realizing recently that I don’t really trust Jesus to save me from my sins, even though I’ve thought otherwise. I keep coming back to this question: How can I say that I trust Jesus to save me from an eternal hell and wash away all my sins, but I can’t seem to trust Him with the things of this earthly life? It seems to me that giving all our possessions to help the poor isn’t so much about earning our way to heaven, as it is a test to see whether we really do trust Jesus. In actuality, all of us trust in the power of money. We know that money gets us somewhere in this life. And that if we lose our money, we know deep down inside that we are in deep trouble in this life. Yet Jesus challenges us…”Will you believe this aching feeling in your gut, or will you trust Me? Do you not trust that I made this world out of nothing and that I will take care of you for the next 70 years of your existence on this planet (or less), even if you lose all your money? How can you trust Me with your eternity if you cannot trust me with these few short years on earth?”

So perhaps one major reason why Jesus calls Christians to give everything to the poor is to prove that we really have put our trust in Him for salvation. To prove that we really are living for eternity and not this earthly life. To prove that we really do believe there is a God out there who isn’t just a “God out there,” but a God who does love us and will take care of us. To prove that our life is no longer our own, but God’s. To prove that God’s love controls us now, not our own selfishness.

I don’t think this is the only reason why we should help the poor. Obviously, there are plenty of others. Poor people need urgent help, for one. And isn’t the Gospel about a God who provides urgent help to sinners who are doomed for eternal destruction? Helping the poor is a great way to demonstrate what God does for us spiritually. It puts a face on it. I mean, didn’t Jesus give up all He had in heaven to help us? And don’t we believe that after His work on earth was done, He received an eternal inheritance? Doesn’t it make sense that we as Christians should follow Jesus’ example and give away all we have, knowing that it’s just for the remainder of our time on earth, and that we too will receive an eternal inheritance? Do I really believe there’s an eternity, and that I don’t need to be comfortable in this life?

So the next time the thought comes to my mind that I’m just trying to earn my salvation when I consider how much I money and stuff I think I should give away, I’ll remind myself that this isn’t works-based at all–it’s simply a way for me to face the question: do I really trust Jesus with my life? And have I really decided to follow Jesus?

But that’s because I’ve been one of those Arminians Gone Wild who often finds themselves reducing conversion to the un-supernatural realm of persons merely making a decision.

And it’s true, many decisions we make in life are indeed not “crisis” decisions–many happen more as a process. So if we focus on conversion simply as a decision humans make to believe in Jesus, it’s obvious that we will conclude that conversion often happens over time as a process, with no definable crisis moment.

Yet, today I’m reminded that conversion isn’t defined by a decision we humans make, so I must qualify my answer. According to the Bible, when we are born again, we become inhabited by the Holy Spirit. This is something God miraculously does–He converts us by giving us His Holy Spirit, we don’t slowly convert ourselves as we make this decision over time. There is no other way to understand God’s part in this process, except that it should occur in a precise moment in time–where at some specific moment, the Holy Spirit inhabits us and we become spiritually reborn. At any point in time, either we have the Holy Spirit or we haven’t received Him yet. There is no “halfway” having the Spirit or being “halfway” alive to God–or God is “in the process of” placing the Holy Spirit inside of me, and He’ll be finished getting Him in there in a couple of weeks. Ha!

While we may not be able ourselves to pinpoint the exact moment when God made such a change take place (since there may have been quite a lengthy process in our hearts/minds leading up to the point where we were open to God’s saving work in us), nevertheless it indeed happened at some real point in time. In an instant.

Should we frustrate ourselves in trying to determine that exact moment in time when this happened? I don’t think so, but we must understand that at some point in time, we did become redeemed by God in an instant. It always happens in that instant, because we cannot save ourselves by slowly coming around to God–it is God in that moment who puts His Spirit in us and saves us, instantaneously making all things new. The instant before, we were still dead in our sins.

So according to my current understanding, conversion always happens at an instant in time, even if we cannot point to that instant. Yet there is undoubtedly almost always quite a process that leads us to that point.

While many of us (including myself) cannot pinpoint that exact moment in time when Christ’s work instantaneously took us from dead in sin to 100% right before God, it should be very disconcerting to any “Christian” who cannot tell a difference between his/her life as a believer today vs their life before they believed. I’m not necessarily talking about how pure or holy we live our lives now, although that is an important issue to consider as well. What I mean is that if indeed there was a point when my spirit was dead to God, and now the Holy Spirit is living in me and has awakened my spirit to God, I should be able to vividly sense this difference on the inside.

After all, who out there is going to tell me that God invading your spirit and waking it up is a subtle, or hard-to-detect, thing? Give me a break! If we are indeed now alive to God in our spirits, where we once were DEAD to God, this should be readily perceived by us. And that is an understatement. I’ve used the following paraphrased quote by A.W. Tozer a couple of posts ago in the context of the Church, but I’d like to now consider it in the context of our daily walk with God:

If the Holy Spirit were suddenly removed from our lives, making us as we once were before becoming Christians, would we sense the difference inside of us?

Would we feel an emptiness where there once was fullness? Check yourself–are you alive to God? Has the Holy Spirit made you born again? Have you been converted by God’s power? Do you recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit inside you?

For the purposes of this post, I am purposefully laying aside the discussion of “dark nights of the soul,” when there are certain times when we seem unable to feel God’s presence. I’m also not arguing for a feelings-based faith. What I am trying to convey here is that conversion is God’s doing, not ours. Therefore, conversion must always happen at a specific moment in time, not over some lengthy process (although there is usually a significant decision process leading up to the crisis event). And if this instantaneous conversion by God is a true reality, surely we can tell that such a dramatic event has taken place inside of us, although we may not recall when exactly this change first began. Let’s avoid mistaking God’s work of conversion inside us with the process leading up to it–it’s fine if we want to include both of these parts as our “conversion process.” But let’s never forget that at some point in this process, there is indeed always a crisis event when God does His saving work and we are infused with His Holy Spirit–instantaneously saved by God’s grace!

While it’s great to have a strong organization (no one likes a failing organization), etc…is this really where are deepest issues as a church lie? I’ve been part of churches that try to focus on these things, but have seen how quickly and easily we can neglect the more important things such as:

1. is the music appealing to unchurched people vs. does the average person here really understand what worship is really all about and who we are worshipping right now?
2. is the sermon engaging vs. is the sermon flowing from the pastor’s personal communion with Christ and are we truly communicating His salvation and the call of Christ?
3. is every aspect of our service flowing from one element to the other vs. are we actively seeking the presence of Christ with everything within us?
4. are we attracting visitors vs. are people’s lives really being changed by the Gospel like our mission statement says?
5. do people enjoy our worship services vs. are our people abandoning everything in their lives for the sake of Christ?
6. do we have great programs vs. are the people in our congregations living according to God’s Word when they’re not in our building?

…just to name a few. I’m afraid many churches pour their energy/resources into the first part of each question, and just hope that the second part of each question somehow happens as a result of their efforts making the first part of the question perfect. In my opinion, all of our time, energy, resources should go into the second part of each question, because time is short, and it’s people that really matter–not how well our organization is run or how well we produce our worship services. I think these have much less of an effect on people than the weight we church leaders put on them.

So, in this post, I would like to praise Andy Stanley, and also point out some of the common elements that he and I probably share:

1. Andy Stanley is brilliant–and so am I. LOL. Actually, what I mean to say is that I don’t think Andy Stanley is dumb about these things. I think he’s smart enough to agree with the issues I’ve been presenting in this and recent posts. In fact, it was his church that produced that video clip I linked to awhile back, which spoofs so much of today’s contemporary worship. I think Andy Stanley and his church gets it. It’s the other church leaders who drool over his success that I think are missing the boat.

2. Andy Stanley is doing everything he does for the sake of the Gospel. I am totally stoked about this. He believes time is of the essence, and that people’s souls are at stake. He believes that the vast number of unchurched people in his communities MUST come to know Christ as Savior if they are to be saved from eternal hell. It’s what has driven him to make his church focus on reaching the lost. He is baffled by churches and church leaders who don’t sense that urgency. I’m right there with him.

3. Andy Stanley is unafraid to be critical of the American Church. He is ok with people like me disagreeing with him and with others just plain bashing him. He is willing to call out the inconsistencies, complacency, lack of love for the lost that exists in local churches all across the country. He still speaks up and critiques regardless, because he feels it’s important enough to do so. The church MUST reach the lost, and that is more important to him than what people think of him or what kinds of things people say about him or his ministry. My blog posts will not faze him. I think he and I share similar convictions along these lines. It’s more important for the Gospel to be spread and for the Church to be truly effective than to be liked by everyone. Let people say what they want to say, but I refuse to let my life and ministry account for so little as I see around me.

4. From comments I’ve heard by Andy Stanley, I think he and I see denominations very similarly. I’m not a fan of them. While they have some good points about them, I question whether the good outweighs the bad. I’m not ready to make a decision on that quite yet, however.

5. Andy Stanley is not content with doing church as it’s always been done. I couldn’t agree more.

So I think that Andy Stanley and I have more in common than what we might disagree on. When it comes to other church leaders who drool over his success, however, I feel I have very little in common with them. Instead, I want to somehow prove to those leaders that you don’t really need all those trappings to be a success, and to stop pursuing them so emphatically. Instead, I feel we need a revival in the hearts of church leaders to really return to praying, reading Scripture, following the voice of the Holy Spirit, repenting of our pride/selfishness, not caring about how “successful” we are, and abandoning every part our lives for Christ and the Gospel.

Church leaders, if we are successful in building ourselves a megachurch, will Jesus say “well done,” or will He only say so if we hold nothing back in this earthly life, forsaking everything to follow Him? Where are those leaders? I’d rather read books about those who have followed this way of life, rather than read the books of pastors who try to tell me how to become a great administrator of a large church. I would rather talk with Andy Stanley about how he walks with Jesus and what his passions are, rather than find out how he was able to grow his church so large. That feat doesn’t impress me, but I’m sure there’s much more about the man that would if I had the privilege of knowing him.

Audra, what do you think of this post?

It’s why in the past, when we didn’t have problems getting people into church, but had plenty difficulty getting them to make a decision for Christ, we Arminians worked hard to make altar calls as dramatic and compelling as possible. And why in the present (since that’s not effective anymore) we are now looking for the next thing that will be effective at getting people to walk in our church doors, because they’re just not coming anymore.

I don’t think this mindset is always a bad thing, except that it seems like we Arminians have concluded that the Holy Spirit really isn’t that effective at drawing people to Christ, so we have to use lots of money, talent, professionalism, entertainment to make up the slack.

I know what the rebuttal would be: perhaps the Holy Spirit is using these very things to draw people to God? I think in some churches He is, no doubt. But I question this assertion as a given, as I see that church has become simply a business model that has proven to be effective at growing one’s church organization. In other words, GE can grow a successful and profitable business without the Holy Spirit, and churches can do the same thing, if they view themselves as similar to a business like GE.

The product is the Gospel. It’s the ultimate product, because it’s of eternal value. It needs to be advertised, which costs a lot of money these days. And the whole point of marketing is to convince people that they really need something that they don’t currently believe they need, so that they’ll buy in. The unchurched are those people who are not yet customers whom we are trying to hook in. Those who are already reached have hopefully become our investors, and we constantly appeal to them to invest in the company. Those of us on staff are the employees who are paid to run the business. And the pastor is the CEO, leading the company into the future.

In such a model, the Holy Spirit really isn’t needed. Everything is our job–it’s up to us to get this process up and running smoothly. Free will, baby.

This is why I find Calvinists refreshing sometimes. While I feel they swing the pendulum all the way to the other side, they put their trust in God to draw people to Him. I think both sides could learn from the other. Yes, there is an element of doing all we can for Christ, but there’s also an element of wholly trusting in Christ.

I’ve heard it said, “Pray as if it all depended on God, and work as if it all depended on you.” Judge church leaders for yourself. I know plenty of pastor CEOs who are workaholics, but I know very few who are prayaholics. I’m speaking to myself here, too. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in Arminian circles, and we have convinced ourselves that it’s all up to us and somehow we’ve got to do the work of the Holy Spirit.

We need to be reminded of Jesus’s words: I am the Vine, you are the branches. Remain in me. Apart from me, you can do NOTHING.

We might be able to grow a megachurch without Jesus–I’m convinced it is easy to do that. Really easy. In fact, I think the only reason why there are so few churches who succeed at growing megachurches is that they just haven’t recruited the right talented, savvy, high-quality staff who know how to do that–but they could hire those people if everyone would just start tithing. Yet to do anything of eternal/spiritual value…I think God is more interested in looking for those untalented, humble, Spirit-driven people who aren’t so much  as interested in being effective in growing church organizations as they are as remaining in Christ.

Am I saying we shouldn’t be concerned with reaching the lost? Not at all. In fact, when I was a youth pastor, that was clearly on my mind. And we would brainstorm ideas/events that would bring the unchurched youth into our doors. We started with three or four youth. We weren’t happy with “us four and no more.” Over a few years, we did see the group grow to an average of 30-35 youth each Sunday night. But you know what? Whoop-dee-doo.

While the congregation and leadership of the church would be understandably happy with such results (even though I’m aware that amount of growth isn’t anything to write home about) I know that we could have even grown the group larger than that and it still not be led of the Holy Spirit. And it would have been just as possible to  have only grown to 10 youth, and be much more completely led of the Holy Spirit than we were. Our success in youth ministry is better judged by other criteria than the numerical growth of the group.

We judge the effectiveness of leadership at whether the ministry “grows” or not. That’s bull crap. You can be totally far from God as a leader–not even a Christian yourself–and grow a very successful ministry. Look at televangelists. And you can totally shrink a ministry from a large crowd to only a small handful who are still with the ministry and be completely full of the Holy Spirit. Look at Jesus.

Jesus was all about reaching the lost right? You would think He would then try to amass the largest crowd of them as possible. He didn’t do that. Why do you think that is?

And Jesus didn’t come to sell a product; He came to offer His life. He didn’t feel the need to build a budget to advertise his ministry; the miraculous moving of God’s Spirit through Him got the word around fast on its own. He didn’t feel the need to try to convince a self-made society who felt they had no need for Him or His “services”–He went straight to the ones who were ready to recognize their need for God’s salvation (the poor, marginalized, etc.). He hired the kind of guys that no megachurch would even remotely consider on staff. He never campaigned for money to build a bigger building or have a “greater impact.” And after three short years, the “business” went under when you look at it from a worldly point of view.

But as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5, “We no longer know Christ from a worldly point of view.” For those of us whose eyes have been opened to the Gospel by the power of the Holy Spirit, everything we need is in Christ. Our treasure is in the Gospel, and our hope is in the power of the Holy Spirit. We could care less about having lots of money, talent, people to carry out the ministry of Christ. Our power does not come by our ability to attract the unchurched.

What megachurch could say, “Silver or gold have I none, but by the power of God, rise up and walk!” I’m afraid many of our modern churches would have to say, “We’ve got lots of silver and gold–see what we’ve done with it just for you to make you feel right at home? The power of God? Well, wasn’t that worship service powerful–I mean the professional band gave you chill bumps and the moving sermon made you laugh and cry all throughout. Your kids got to play on  a state-of-the-art jungle-gym, and the youth are going to Six Flags next week. We have so much to offer you and your family! We’re not like that other church down the street–they don’t care about reaching unchurched people like you. They don’t have jungle-gyms or rockin’ music. They probably just pray together and leave or something mundane like that. But you’re not a church person, so we understand that you’re not interested in praying to God. Instead, here’s a cup of coffee and with our church’s logo on it (created by a professional graphic designer–doesn’t it look awesome?) so that you might think about coming back, that is, if you have a good enough time today–which we all hope you will. After all, it’s why we spend the big bucks around here.”

Arminians gone wild.